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Gossip Between Husband and Wife
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Author:  Mario Looch [ Thu Oct 30, 2014 1:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Gossip Between Husband and Wife

I was once told by a good Priest that gossip between husband and wife is practically unavoidable and essentially not a big deal. Obviously I don't remember the exact quote. But could someone elaborate upon this train of thought?

My thinking is the husband and wife are one unit and are there for the comfort of the other as they relate the goings on and burdens of the day.

Then I thought of various circumstances such as gossiping (speaking truthfully) about others when children are around or gossiping when no one else is around when the person being spoken about is one who is not known by or interacted with by the spouse be spoken to compared to when the person being spoken about is someone both (the gossiper and the gossipee) know and interact with on a regular basis.

Can anyone speak to the idea of gossip between husband and wife as compared to gossip between other contemporaries in regards to its sinfulness and the degree of sinfulness involved?

Author:  Jorge Armendariz [ Thu Oct 30, 2014 5:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Gossip Between Husband and Wife

General advice from the Saints, try to minimize your chatting to specific individuals. Maybe omit the name of the person, if you are trying to make a case.

In general try to talk to people who have a virtuous tongue as they can really be a great aid, especially if you have the vice of over talking. You see this very often in your own life, that you are more likely to spill the beans with the impious then with the pious, who honestly will not even lend an ear to the accusations of a neighbor much less a husband.

I guess it really depends what you talking about? Is it something that is of no consequence, or is it something grave? For example your intimacy in the marital life, is a topic that modern women talk to each other about. There are many variations and innuendo of this that can be seen even among traditional women. So I would just say overall advice on the topic, is keep it to a minimum and only regarding matters that do not damage the reputation of the other spouse.

"Your father is a good for nothing."
"Your father is lazy."
"My husband, really doesn't help around the house much."

These sort of things, should be kept between oneself and your confessor or some really trusted friend (who can directly maybe help you see how you can find a solution). The few examples I gave are not to do's.

Author:  Mario Looch [ Tue Nov 04, 2014 5:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Gossip Between Husband and Wife

Thank you very much for your informative response. My specific question is regarding whether a husband and wife have more freedom to talk about others, in regards to their day for instance, than two friends. Husband and wife are one. I have heard that if you tell one spouse something it is like telling them both as they don't hold secrets from one another but speak negatively about others in order to let the other know how their day went rather than to undermine such a person.

For instance.

HUSBAND: Such and such is away from her desk 6 hours a day and spends the other two on personal phone calls so I have to do all the work.

WIFE (does not know such and such): Incredible but not surprising.

Compare that to the following:

FRIEND 1: Such and such does not work.

FRIEND 2: And I'm supposed to be surprised?

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